11 Strategies to Instantly Improve ALL Your Relationships

11 Strategies to Instantly Improve ALL Your Relationships

Just how well do you get on with others?

Are your relationships with your family, friends, neighbours, colleagues joyous and cordial?

Or are they fraught with discord and challenges?

The state of your relationships directly affects your daily happiness and fulfilment. And unless you are living on your own in some jungle, you need to have people in your life to survive and thrive.

Harmonious and rich relationships in your life can add much joy, excitement and fulfilment. During the tough times, it’s the people you love and care for will get you through.

To learn how you can be with other people, observe young children at play. Just watch how they get on with each other and how any misdeeds are soon forgotten.

Children just get on with enjoying the moment — and you too can do the same.

The key is to always do unto others what you would have them do to you.

“Be the change that you want the world to be” — Gandhi

Keep this in mind and all your relationships will improve. Plus, you’ll create a ripple effect of other people also improving their relationships.

How to Take Responsibility for All your Relationships

To start with, know that you are responsible for the state of all your relationships.

If someone’s behaviour is upsetting you, then you are responsible for this, as you are allowing them to continue such behaviour.

Set boundaries with this person about their behaviour, letting them know what’s not acceptable and why.

People appreciate honesty and openness in relationships — so always be true to your word and tell it how it is for you.

Speak the truth directly and authentically, without being brutally rude. Be respectful of other people’s feelings and opinions, and be tactful as appropriate to the situation.

Remember that you also have the choice of ending a relationship.

Assess where improvement is needed in your relationships and get committed to improving them.

Here are my 11 strategies to help you do just that:-

1. Show Your Appreciation in All Areas of Your Life

You have so many people in your life who make it comfortable and fun.

So remember to genuinely thank and appreciate your partner, family, friends and colleagues.

Especially thank the strangers who do so much to make your life convenient and easy, such as shop assistants, waiters and waitresses, the postman and the dustman.

Keep a count of the number of times you say “thank you” every day and keep increasing your count.

2. Listen to Other People — Remember Two Ears, One Mouth

The greatest gift you can give people is your undivided attention.

When people are talking to you, stop what you are doing, look at them and avoid distractions and interruptions. No looking at your phone whilst you are in conversation with them!

Your undivided attention tells the other person that you genuinely value them.

3. Be Genuinely Interested in Other People

Become deeply curious about people and interested their stories — everyone likes to share their story so give them a chance to do so.

Remember to be interested rather than “interesting” — it is not all about you!

People can tell when you are genuinely interested in them or just faking it — so pay close attention and look for hooks in what they are saying to trigger your interest even more.

4. Make Other People Feel Important

You can create deep connections and even life-long friendships by valuing people and letting them know they count.

Everyone likes to feel they matter — and you can do wonders for them by caring and valuing them.

You’ll raise their self-esteem — and you’ll feel great too.

5. Never Take Things Personally

You can never be hurt by what others say or do.

What anyone says or does is not personal and merely a reflection of their reality.

So make yourself immune to what others say and do. Their opinion about you is just that — their opinion.

6. Stop Criticising Others

You should refrain from criticising or putting other people down in any way.

Criticism can be so demoralising and destructive for adults and children alike. So become aware of how you speak to the people you care about and recognise when you are being critical or harsh.

Ask people around you to give you feedback about your habits of criticism and be big enough to change your ways.

And do sincerely apologise and make up as soon as you realise you’ve stepped out of line.

7. Empathise with Other People

You can greatly enhance all your relationships by putting yourself in their shoes and seeing the world through their eyes.

Start to listen and understand the other person’s point of view. This will eliminate energy-draining arguments and make your relationships so much more cordial and peaceful.

Anytime you are in a tricky situation, just ask yourself how you would want to be treated in such a situation.

Meet them where they are at, not where you would like them to be.

8. Stop Dumping on Others

When you have stuff going on for you, do not share your sob story with others and hope to feel better by doing so.

Don’t relieve your stress or frustration by taking it out on someone close to you. This doesn’t help either of you!

Your stuff is your stuff — deal with it. Get advice from a friend or even professional support if need be.

9. Change Yourself, Not Other People

You can never change others, only yourself.

Knowing how hard it is for you to change, accept that it is futile and a waste of time and energy to try and change anyone else.

If a situation bothers you so much, then accept the situation or get out of it.

It’s always about you and what you bring to any relationship.

10. Don’t Make Assumptions about Other People

Never assume anything about others and what they do or don’t do for you.

Learn to communicate clearly with everyone to avoid misunderstandings and conflict.

Remember that everyone is doing the best they can with their current level of knowledge, awareness and understanding.

11. Stop Gossiping and Bitching about Others

You must refrain from talking about other people behind their back.

It will inevitably come back to you and affect your relationships.

Learn to only say good things about others and your relationships will soon improve.

“Improve all your relationships with others by assuming that they can hear everything you say about them” — Stephen R Covey

Rather than gossiping, become a good-finder in all your daily interactions with people and give them generous and genuine feedback.

Time to Create Fun and Joyous Relationships

There you go — you can now transform all your relationships.

Imagine never falling out again with a friend or a family member. Instead, you can now have solid, cordial relationships which are fun, rewarding and fulfilling.

It starts with you here and right now. Grab a notepad and reflect on these questions:

1. Review your relationships and assess where improvements can be made. Can you identify any patterns?

2. List up to ten ways you can start improving the relationships in your life.

3. Think of five people in your life, with whom you would like to improve your relationship.

4. List five things you will do in the next seven days, to improve your relationships with these people.

5. A week later, reflect on what you did and how these relationships improved.

Be prepared to be blown away — and watch in wonder as your relationships with all the people in your life transform rapidly.

You’ve got this — you can do this.

14 Key Strategies to Become Highly Irresistible and a Great Catch

14 Key Strategies to Become Highly Irresistible and a Great Catch

Don’t they just make you green with envy?

Some people seem to be surrounded by fun people all the time, and they always seem to get the best girl or best guy.

And here you are, still single and looking to meet “the one”.

Still on a quest to finally find that one “special” person you have been waiting for all your life. That someone special who will sweep you away, and in one magical moment take away all your problems and make the world right for you.

You may be wondering what it is that makes some people so irresistible they attract people to them like bees to honey.

What have they got that you haven’t?

Are they using some sinister mind-techniques? Or are they just blessed with magnetic charisma?

I too used to wonder what it was.

Heck, I even joined a slimy secret seduction society a few years ago — and I got to hang out with some dudes teaching me all sorts of sneaky ways of tricking and manipulating women into liking me.

That didn’t last long though — it just felt rather sordid, nasty and completely out of integrity.

Then I learnt that actually, it was all about who I was being and how I showed up in the world that mattered the most.

Think about it. Why would anyone choose to be with you in the first place?

Becoming Irresistible is An Inside Job!

The penny dropped — it all began with me.

I took stock of my life, developed new interests and hobbies, and focused on my growth and development to become the best version of me.

And magically people started wanting to hang out with me — I made many new friends and even went out on many hot dates with women who I had previously considered well out of my league.

I too became irresistible and quite a catch.

Now you too can do the same — here’s how:-

1. Make Others Feel Valued and Special

The key is for you to be genuinely interested in people.

This will work wonders in creating a deeper human connection between you and everyone you meet.

When you deeply care about other people and you are interested in their stories, you naturally become more interesting yourself.

By being authentic and interested in them, their life and their passions, it is easy for the conversation to flow and a human bond to be created.

So be interested rather than interesting. Make others feel special and they will also see you as special.

2. Become the Best Possible You

Become the best version of yourself — create a vision for your life and seek to improve yourself daily in some way.

Your outer growth begins with your inner growth, so follow a path of personal and spiritual development as well as material growth.

And part of your inner growth is to learn to accept and love yourself just as you are with all your warts, blemishes and wrinkles.

You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly. — Sam Keen

3. Be Kind and Considerate to Others

The way you treat people around you says so much about you — so treat others the way you would want them to treat you.

Learn to be gracious and polite to all the people who make your life so easy and convenient for you every day such as waiters/waitresses, shop assistants etc.

And be especially kind, polite and courteous to all the people that matter the most in your life and are the closest to you such as your family.

The way you treat people is ultimately how you will treat your future partner — so reflect honestly now on just how you treat other people — and take steps to change your behaviour.

4. Lead a Life of Purpose

Living a life of meaning and purpose will make you that that much more interesting and attractive.

Knowing what matters to you in your life and striving towards it will make you stand out.

Also, once you are in a long-term relationship with your chosen special one, a common life purpose, something meaningful and deep to you both, will keep you both together through thick and thin.

If you are not clear about your purpose, then simply choose to live a life of love and kindness — and make that your purpose.

5. Get Clear About What You Desire in a Relationship

Get clear about what you want from your future partner and your relationship — the clearer you are, the easier it is to meet someone.

Though it’s useful to have a wish-list about your partner but do look beyond their physical attributes.

Reflect on past relationships and see what worked and what didn’t.

Look around for role models in your life and the type of relationship they have and what you would like too.

You can learn so much by just watching how couples interact — so indulge in some people watching.

6. Take Great Self-Care

Look after yourself in the best way possible — so review your diet, create an exercise plan and get all your medical checks up-to-date.

Being a picture of health will make you more attractive — and you’ll have more energy for fun activities with your future partner.

Focus on becoming reasonably healthy and fit and do not go crazy. Follow a simple sustained programme of improvement as a little bit every day will go a long way.

Also, review your grooming — review your wardrobe, your hairstyle and your hygiene.

7. Keep Your Future Love-Nest Tidy and Clutter-Free

De-clutter your home and create a nice, comfortable place for your future partner to visit you.

Clear out the junk from your life and your home. You will also benefit subconsciously.

Start here by going through my 20 questions that will simplify your life forever. Every question where you have answered YES is an area for immediate action — no holding back!

Remember — why would someone special go for a slob?

8. Follow Your Passions and Create a Fun Life

Create a fun life of your own so that one day someone special can augment it.

Be passionate about your life and your special interests. Follow your interests such as salsa, hiking and sports — anything that tickles your fancy.

Do things on your own, or with friends — don’t wait till you find your special one to begin living. Start now!

By doing so, you are more likely to meet that special one during such activities.

9. Develop New Interests and Learn New Things

Try out new things rather than sticking to the same old routine activities.

You will then not only make new friends and learn new things you’ll also become more interesting to potential partners.

You’ll also get to expand yourself intellectually, physically and spiritually, depending on the new activities you choose to explore.

Here is a mini-challenge for you — in the next 7 days, do something completely different…

10. Let Go of the Past — and Learn from Your Heartbreaks

Are you being held back by your past?

Do you still harbour regrets over past “failed” relationships and resentment against ex-partners?

Then it’s time to deal with such past issues and partners now rather than when you meet the special one.

Let go of your baggage.

If necessary, seek out professional help so that you can be healed and emotionally available.

11. Have an Abundant, Generous Attitude

As well as being kind to people around you, adopt an abundant and generous approach to life.

Be open and generous with your praise, material goods, money, resources, wisdom and time.

Read here about abundance, abundance, abundance — and apply in your life from now onwards.

Of course, don’t flaunt your wealth or be a show-off. Only share your opinion or wisdom where appropriate and with permission. Don’t be a smart alec!

12. Become Refined and Polished

Look for any rough edges in your behaviour that could be polished up.

Do you swear a lot, tell crude jokes or often get drunk and legless? Do you lose your temper easily?

If so, then address these rough edges urgently before your special one sees just how crude you are!

If it helps, ask your friends for honest and open feedback and create a plan of action for becoming more cultured, refined and polished.

13. Be Emotionally Mature and Grownup

In a close and intimate relationship, your partner needs to be able to express their feelings and viewpoints.

So review just how open and available you are to offer them emotional support without you switching off, becoming cold or even jumping down their throat.

Just how easy-going and amenable are you? Will you bring out the best in your partner, or will you stifle them?

I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.
Roy Croft

Ask your close family and friends for feedback — or if you are really brave and open to possibly critical feedback, ask your ex-partners.

Seek help in this area if appropriate.

14. Develop a Sense of Humour — and Laugh Lots

You must be a fun person to be around with!

Otherwise, why would anyone special even seek you out?

Learn to be light-hearted about things and don’t let every minor little thing get your back up.

Learn to laugh easily and often — lighten up. Life is too short to be grumpy, regardless of whether you are single or not.

“Remember to smile and to smile often. Every time you smile, someone could be falling in love with you in that moment.” — Unknown

Time to Unwrap the Irresistible You

So there you go — the secret to being irresistible begins with you.

You too can have a bunch of admirers and go on dream dates.

And you can do so with integrity and decency, without playing any mind-games.

Best of all, adopting all of the above strategies will make you a better, more rounded human being.

You will feel great about yourself and you’ll ooze confidence. The type of confidence that’s attractive and magnetic. That makes you irresistible.

And of course — you’ll be quite a catch.

It’s time to unwrap the irresistible version of you that was always there…

7 Magical Tips to Make New Friends and Never Be Lonely Again

7 Magical Tips to Make New Friends and Never Be Lonely Again

You remember that feeling well.

That desperate feeling of being on your own.

Feeling deeply lonely.

Again.

It’s Saturday night and once again you are stuck at home with no cool friends to hang out with.

Your social life sucks.

Yet you know everyone else is having a fab time.

So you begin to wonder — maybe there’s something wrong with me?

Am I not worthy of having fun too?

How is it that other people can make new friends so easily? Did they have some magic sauce?

And how am I ever going to make friends with some cool people?

I too was like you once — no cool friends and lots of time spent in misery on my own in front of the telly.

Then one day I had a life-changing aha moment.

No one was going to find me at home and ask to be friends!

I had to get myself out there. And go to places where all the cool people were hanging out.

I just had to learn what they did to make friends.

And I did.

It wasn’t magic.

But it seemed liked magic.

Now you too can learn how to make new friends with my 7 magical tips:-

1. Dazzle Them with Your Smile but Don’t Blind Them

The first thing you can do to create a connection with someone new is smile.

Smiling is such an icebreaker as it will reassure the other person and create a warm feeling all around. Usually, it’ll trigger a smile back from them — and you’ll then be on your way to connecting.

Your smile should be warm and welcoming — not a goofy smile which could be disarming for some people!

Do this next time you are in a crowd of strangers — smile gently and see what reaction you get back.

2. Rubber Stamp Their Name in Your Head

To most people, the sound of their own name is the most beautiful in the world!

So when you first meet someone, ask them their name and then be sure to remember it. If their name is unusual, ask them how it should be correctly pronounced, and even ask where it is from.

Be sure to address them by their name early on in the conversation — that will help you remember it.

If it helps, write down their name if they haven’t given you their business or personal card.

3. Make Eye Contact: Gaze at Them (But don’t Stare)

When you are talking to this new person, do look them in the eye and maintain eye contact as appropriate.

This will show them you are interested in what they are saying — and will also help you follow what they are saying.

You don’t want to spook them out by fixedly staring into their eyes either!

To get used to the idea of looking people in the eye, practice looking into your own eyes in front of a mirror.

This can be quite a confrontational exercise for some people, but it will do wonders for your self-acceptance — and will transform how deeply you connect with people.

4. Remember: Two Ears, One Mouth — Use Them Accordingly

The greatest gift you can give any person is your undivided attention.

So when you meet a new person, focus completely on that person and being present.

Remember to listen to them much more than you speak yourself. They’ll sense that you have their full attention and they’ll warm towards you.

Be genuinely interested in other people.

Stop your mind from wandering, focus on what they are saying and make the other person feel important. Your undivided attention tells them that you genuinely value them.

By fully listening to them, you’ll also get to know what’s important to them, and you can build rapport and respond accordingly.

5. Talk to Their Heart and Not Just Their Head

As you listen, build empathy and rapport with your new friend.

Focus not just on the words but the nuances of what they are saying. For example, do they sound excited or bored when they talk about their job?

You will also pick up clues and remember what to talk about later in your conversation — they will be impressed with what you have remembered.

By truly empathising with the other person, you will get to understand better their point of view.

And remember, people just adore those who are interested in their point of view!

6. Look to Be of Service to Them

As you get to know someone better, look for ways of helping and supporting them, perhaps by referring them to a friend who could be interested in their services.

Look for ways of connecting new friends with any existing like-minded friends.

If you have promised to do something for them, make sure you do so promptly — you will soon create a reputation as someone who is highly connected, someone who can be trusted and someone who delivers.

At the same time, remember that you are “helping” them to help themselves — empowering them rather than becoming a crutch they can take advantage of.

Also, remember that you are not there to “fix” them.

7. Be an Energiser Bunny and Not A Downer

Everyone likes to be around someone positive, energetic and bubbly, rather than someone who is a merchant of doom and gloom.

At a networking or social event, who would you rather speak to — the happy confident looking person or the one who looks miserable?

Life is too short to go around with a miserable face.

So be careful to never dump your stuff on others!

Also, only say good things about others — never gossip as it will inevitably come back to you and affect your friendships.

Become known as a positive, upbeat person with integrity, who doesn’t gossip and can be trusted.

Your Social Life Will Never Suck Again

So there you go — you can now magically transform your social life.

No more lonely Saturday evenings, sitting around in front of the telly and twiddling your thumbs wondering what to do.

Instead, imagine hanging out with crazy new friends in fun places and having the time of your life.

Imagine meeting some cool people who genuinely want to hang out with you and do new, fun and exciting activities.

Imagine going to new social events and meetups and having such a busy social life that you can even be selective what you choose to do, and who you hang out with.

Your journey from being lonely to becoming a social butterfly has begun.

You are in for some amazing times with some wonderful and fun new friends.

You’ve got this — your life will never be the same again.

Go out, make new friends and create a fun social life — you know you are so worth it.

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